In Control: Dangerous Relationships and How They End in Murder

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Early on, he blamed past relationship failures on his ex-girlfriend, without acknowledging his own role. The euphemism of someone who is always worried about angering potential lunatics is often seen as weak. One of the most important books I've ever read and a fascinating insight to the violence against women and girls conversation. By recognising these patterns, we can track how – and why – risk may escalate for victims and we can provide crucial intervention. This is why I think the rhetoric towards V Putin has to be tempered with a recognition of his position as head of a great state while denouncing his actions and leaving him room to save face.

obviously, this book deals with some heavy subject matter and because Monckton-Smith uses real life examples this book definitely comes with some trigger warnings, including domestic violence, rape, murder, forced pregnancy, child abuse, emotional blackmail and manipulation, gaslighting and stalking.

If lawyers and judges had more knowledge about how domestic abuse works that would then become part of the adversarial arguments.

In a culture that has normalised misogyny, we determinedly cling to the belief that domestic violence is a private matter in which both parties bear some responsibility. Pregnancy makes emotional manipulation and violence more visible; stealthy, indulgent public prosecutors. There is nothing wrong with the modern presumption of innocence legal process, but it is worth noting that its premise is like the contemporary judicial process, which puts the plaintiff and the defendant on an equal footing, and a premise that is insufficiently justified cannot draw a valid conclusion. Such abusers - nearly always men - generally reveal themselves early on in the relationship, but in the flush of new "love", the signs go unrecognized, the warnings unheeded. I think this book is extremely helpful to all of us so that we are able to be hyper vigilant in our interactions with others, whether we are victims, family of friends of the abused or witnesses so we do not share in the injustice of the victims, through strengthening the perpetrator plight to control.It’s a fantastic piece of non-fiction by Jane Monckton Smith who is a specialist in the field of homicides and has a plethora of experience behind her. Why not teach men that women are not property, we have our own minds and we can decide for ourselves what we want in life, be it a certain partner, or a career.